Edible golf tees

In these times of financial hardship, an increasing number of people are turning to the old war-time practice of ‘make do and mend’. I thought I’d share a few tips, inspired by those passed down to me by my parents and grandparents.

  • Grow lots of carrots and use them for everything. Here are some ideas to start you off:
    • Edible golf tees
    • Novel wine bottle stoppers
    • Aerodynamic improvements to the fronts of roller-skates
    • Cut into the right shapes, artificial goldfish
    • Any labour-saving device, which can be fashioned from a carrot
    • Exciting and original knee-cap decorations
    • Very realistic toy carrots
  • Short car journeys are less fuel efficient, so always use the longest possible route to any destination.
  • When following a recipe, don’t rush out to buy missing ingredients. Just substitute a carrot for each item you don’t have in the cupboard. Carrot and butter pudding has become a particular favourite in our household.
  • Treat your house spiders as pets. They’re free, don’t need feeding and look after themselves whilst you’re on holiday.
  • Save money-off coupons from magazines, your local supermarket etc. Boiled up with some grated carrot, they can make an appetizing meal.
  • Potato peelings can be sewn together to make stylish and eye-catching leg-warmers.
  • If you must buy new clothes, sew fragments of old clothes to them immediately after purchase. This will make them last longer and stop poorer people from feeling jealous.
  • Individual strands, from a carefully dismantled hair-net, can be tied together to make an excellent hair-net.

Boo strongly

Many people may have noticed that a golf tournament, called the ‘Ryder Cup’, took place this weekend. There seems to have been a bit of a kerfuffle amongst European fans, over the fact that Team USA’s supporters kept shouting “boo, boo” a lot. This was deemed to be rude, unsporting and off-putting – given the golfing context, you can pronounce that last one however you like. Now, even golf ignoramuses like me know that Team USA have a player named Boo Weekley and it was for him the crowd were calling.

I don’t think European golf fans will have any cause for complaint in the future, unless the little known American player Bert Eurolosers were to improve his game significantly. However, it will be interesting to see how the Team USA supporters react to the fact that the next Ryder Cup, in 2010, will be played at the famous Welsh ‘Yahnkirrhubbish’ course.