- If you have air-conditioning in the home, get rid of it. Take it in turns to keep each other cool by wafting giant fans, constructed from sustainable wood products.
- If you have central heating in the home, get rid of it. Take it in turns to run around the house until you are hot and then hugging a member of the family who is feeling cold.
- If you have a dishwasher, get rid of it. Wash all crockery and cutlery in rain water, using straw for scouring purposes. Hang washed items on a washing line, to dry in the fresh air. If a passing bird poos on any item, repeat the process.
- If you have a washing machine, get rid of it. Wash all clothes in the nearest river, using straw for scouring purposes.
- If you have a tumble dryer, get rid of it. Hang your clothes out to dry on a washing line. If a passing bird poos on any item, repeat the process.
- Another good way of drying wet clothes is to put them on and then run around a lot until they’re dry. This may get them a bit sweaty, in which case you’ll need to wash them again (see above).
- If you have a computer, get rid of it.
- If you have a TV, get rid of it.
- Don’t bathe or shower indoors. Wait until it rains and then wash outside, using straw for scouring purposes. If a passing bird poos on you, repeat the process.
- If you must bathe or shower indoors, make sure you share it with at least two other people.
- Make sure your home is adequately insulated. If it isn’t, take the stuffing out of your furniture and cram it into every bit of roof space and wall cavity.
- If you have any open fireplaces, brick them up.
- Sit in the dark as often as possible.
- Get used to drinking cold tea, made with cold water.
- If you have a car, get rid of it.
- Don’t throw anything away. Let all your rubbish accumulate until you can think of something useful to do with it.
- If you feel cold, put on more clothes and/or get the member of your family who’s been running around to hug you.
- Work from home, regardless of your job. Explain to your boss that you are doing it to save the planet. He / she is sure to understand.
- Take empty beer bottles back to the brewery and ask them for re-fills.
- Turn your wheelie-bin into a compost bin, by chucking a few worms on top of the rubbish it already contains. You can use the resulting compost for something worthy, I expect.
- Prudent use of toilet tissue, with careful post-use drying on the loo windowsill, can extend the life of a typical sheet to at least four wipes.
- Don’t flush the loo until it’s in danger of over-flowing. Reduce the amount of water wasted with each flush by filling the cistern with concrete.
- Sneer at anyone with a carrier bag.
- Stop buying books. Encourage family members to write their own stories on the walls of your house.
- Don’t waste water on grass and plants. Let them die, unless they’re trees (see below).
- Plant as many trees as you can fit on your property. This will help to reduce CO2. Don’t worry about damage to the foundations caused by the roots; it’s just nature.
Ciaran on The birth of Scoffle ukebloke on The birth of Scoffle ciarang on The birth of Scoffle Coss on The birth of Scoffle Iris on Underarm chemical warfare David on The birth of Scoffle
- Advertising Advice Animals animal testing bad predictions bees bees disappearing Belgium bird poo Boo Weekley California Marriage Protection Act California Teachers Association CERN cheese Clothing club penguin co2 emissions Comedy crazy golf credit crunch CTA David Sanchez disappearing bees drinking electric showers energy saving experiences Fashion fish and chips fruit Funny gay gay marriage golf herbs Humor Humour Images insects lap dancing Large Hadron Collider legalized same-sex marriage lesbian LHC Life Microsoft music no on 8 noticeboard olympics penguins Personal plant a tree porridge predictions prop 8 Proposition 8 puffins Rabbits Random Random thoughts Reality TV Ryder Cup Science sea birds showers sick-out smoking Spam spiders Sport Stuff teachers underpants vegetables
CopyrightThe Wordpress user 'ukebloke' asserts his moral rights as the author of all content posted in this blog by the user 'ukebloke'. All such material is the copyright of the Wordpress user 'ukebloke'.