Edible golf tees

In these times of financial hardship, an increasing number of people are turning to the old war-time practice of ‘make do and mend’. I thought I’d share a few tips, inspired by those passed down to me by my parents and grandparents.

  • Grow lots of carrots and use them for everything. Here are some ideas to start you off:
    • Edible golf tees
    • Novel wine bottle stoppers
    • Aerodynamic improvements to the fronts of roller-skates
    • Cut into the right shapes, artificial goldfish
    • Any labour-saving device, which can be fashioned from a carrot
    • Exciting and original knee-cap decorations
    • Very realistic toy carrots
  • Short car journeys are less fuel efficient, so always use the longest possible route to any destination.
  • When following a recipe, don’t rush out to buy missing ingredients. Just substitute a carrot for each item you don’t have in the cupboard. Carrot and butter pudding has become a particular favourite in our household.
  • Treat your house spiders as pets. They’re free, don’t need feeding and look after themselves whilst you’re on holiday.
  • Save money-off coupons from magazines, your local supermarket etc. Boiled up with some grated carrot, they can make an appetizing meal.
  • Potato peelings can be sewn together to make stylish and eye-catching leg-warmers.
  • If you must buy new clothes, sew fragments of old clothes to them immediately after purchase. This will make them last longer and stop poorer people from feeling jealous.
  • Individual strands, from a carefully dismantled hair-net, can be tied together to make an excellent hair-net.
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One response to “Edible golf tees

  1. “Exciting and original knee-cap decorations”…

    dude. you. are. so. f$&*ing. funny.

    Will you please help me design my Halloween costume?

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